Paying It Forward

The recent cruise liner accident, the partial sinking of the Costa Concordia off a rocky coast of Tuscany, has been a scary example of a leader who does not stand a chance in (Italian) hell (or court of law).  While his employers work feverishly to distance their company from him as he combusts, I've yet to see these same leaders praise Captain Francesco Schettino's staff for their quick thinking and heroic efforts.  And if they did, they didn't do it enough!

Without their captain on board, the liner's staff was left with no consistant direction or constant communication. And yet, despite the last counts of 11 people dead and 21 people missing, Schettino's quick thinking employees working along with the Italian Coast Guard managed to save over 4170 lives! So where is the celebration of that in the news? Sad to think, but if the good captain hadn't "tripped" into a life boat, perhaps his story might be playing out differently. Just think about the heroic Captain Chesley Sullenberg, who glided his damaged airplane into the Hudson River in NYC saving all passengers on board. He STILL creates positive news.

Having been a supervisor and manager my entire career the same mantras keep filtering through my brain:

1.) There isn't ANY situation that requires a leader not to think about Safety First! Even if you work from home you should have an evacuation plan in place and have practiced it.

2.)  Think about how your boss and his/her boss would respond to something you initiate if you have ANY pangs of doubt about it at all!  I promise you we are not all destined to be Steve Jobs or Ted Turner or Kobe Bryant. It's always better to run it by someone.  The pangs are there for a reason. 

3.)  Understand what your responsibilities are and if you have a question about any of them ASK before you need to.

4.)  Get your staff on the same page you are each day.  And touch base through out the day.

5.)  Want your boss to have your back?  Then back your staff!  More often than not first line employees can tell you (and your boss) more about your business and customers than you can.  Unless of course you regularly communicate with them and your clients of course.

6.)  Understand the community you are working within.  Your neighbors can be another set of eyes and ears. Don't assume you or your employer understands what is operationally acceptable. And really don't be surprised when you're the person your employer relies on to nuture this relationship!

7.) If something out the ordinary occurs, even if it doesn't register with you initially as being very important, at the very least jot down a few notes and date it.  Then if it becomes a big deal you have recorded notes to refresh your memory as you provide answers to inquiries. 

I write a lot about people that have effected my life, sometimes much to their chagrin. But I can't help it. So many of these stories just dance around inside my brain and spill out all over my laptop keyboard when aged appropriately. But that's what this Paying It Forward blog is all about.

I was about a year out of college when I interviewed for a position working for at first indirectly for Larry but after a few months directly for him. Now almost 30 years later he is still the benchmark I use to measure other folks in business (didn't know that did you Larry)?

Back in the day Larry was given the task of "womanizing" a very testoserone infused business. I remember our interview as if it happened yesterday.  Actually today is about the exact day and date 28 years ago when I spent three hours in his office dressed in my interview garb while he wore jeans and a flannel shirt (they were adding stop bars on the easy up fixtures in the flagship store to stop reams of paper from sliding to the other side as they were displayed for sale outside of their traditional cartons).

Larry was in and out the the office while simultaneously directing the project and getting to know me. We filled this huge ashtray full of cigarette butts as he talked (I probably shouldn't be saying that but it was "legal" back then) and I chimed in my two cents worth. I hadn't interviewed much but although I really liked Larry and wanted this job, I couldn't figure out how he was learning about me from the things we talked about. Later on I asked him about it. He responded, "You're strong (physically) but look like a girl and you're strong minded. You're also smart and loyalty is very important to you. That's all I needed to know. I knew could teach you everything else you needed to know be successful in this business." 

I was actually surprised when Larry's secretary called me on the following Tuesday to come back for a second interrview and offer of the job. We both remained with this company, Larry until he finally retired a few years ago.  the following is the leadership checklist I devised for myself from working for Larry and watching him in his leadership roles throughout the years.

1.)  Know the People around you even if they don't effect your day to day activities. Larry knew everyone and took the time to talk to anyone who approached him.

2.)  Know your Business. Not only what you sell and how it is used, but also the financials and how you can discover items to foster changes to make the business even more successful. Develop working relationships with vendors and reps. These are the folks that make sure you have product to sell (at a profit to your business) and still offer fair to discounted prices to your clients. To quote an old over used phrase: It's a win win and win.

3.)  Know your Customer(s). They are the reason you are here and you should treat them like your best friends when possible. Make yourself accessible (remember these were pre Social Media days) to their issues and problems.  If you don't know the answer be honest and tell them so, but on the same hand find someone for them who does know.

4.)  Know as much about your Employees as possible. What makes them tick, what excites them, what they hold important, what and who they loyal to... Early in my marriage (and employment) my husband had vertabrae in his neck fused and had not worked so money was tight.  My paternal grandmother passed away and I didn't have extra cash to fly home for her funeral.  Larry used some of his Frequent Flyer miles to buy a round trip airline ticket for me and paid $50 to process and send it to me by the next morning. By this time I was extremely loyal to him but woulld have never asked nor expected Larry to do something so generous.  He wouldn't even let me pay him the $50.

5.)  Know how to challenge each of your staff members and do it regularly. 

P.S. If you get the chance to read this post Larry, thank you for everything!

 I've spent a lot of time watching, reading and participating on several key social sites in the past couple of years.  Why? Because in the beginning I had absolutely no idea what to do. Armed with several pages of notes I took during a conference call with @KendraRamirez before getting started, I felt like I was back in college cramming for a final exam. Kendra had all kinds of suggestions and I probably tried most of them. I loved Kendra though when I started seeing results. She was my first social hero!

I have many social media heroes. Personal ones such as the folks I'm about to mention and heroes who use their klout or position or tools to effect positive change in the lives of thousands. What's the use of having all of that cool stuff going for you (even if you worked hard to earn it) if you fail to use it to help prepare the way for others?

I could go on and on. @jasonpinto and @JPlovesCOTTON (Janice Person) and @jacobstoops and @MatthewLiberty and @fondalo and @Brainzooming and  @biebert and @sandyhubbard and @jasoneng_   All of these folks are social heroes. If you don't know them you should. All awesome folks who are generous with their time and resources.

I have my iconic list of heroes as well. I'm thrilled that someone with a gazillion followers would take the time to greet me, chat with me, mention me or think something I had to say meant something to them (a R/T is so affirming). @2cre8 @adamsconsulting @bluecollard @tweetsmarter @makarovskij @arkathick @gupshupblog and more. The other day Sean Gardner ( @2morrowknight) RTed a link I posted. Actually I believe he was R/Ting @2cre8's R/T of the link from the day before but so what. It was my tweeted link! Sean was my social hero for the day! 

Don't get me started on those wonderful people who read my blog posts. Like you. So see, you are someone's social hero. Go back out there and make someone else's day. You sure made mine.

This morning while watching a national news program I caught a quick news item announcing the #1 acronymn of 2011: FOMO,  the fear of missing out. Normally I wouldn't find this too intriguing because frankly, I suck at social media / texting acronymns. OMG, WTF, LOL and IRL are the extent of those I use regularly. To decode the rest  I keep near by a copy of the 'Texting Dictionary of Acronyms' by Randall C. Manning. This handy dandy (by Randy, a friend of mine IRL) little pocket sized flip book is available to purchase on Amazon.com and in some retail outlets around the country. (Devised by kids as a type of texting Pig Latin to keep their parents from understanding what their conversation is all about, acronyms are fast, easy and can be oh so racy!) 

Even my soon-to-be 74 year old mother suffers from a mild case of FOMO. Her cell phone is never more than an arm's length away from wherever she is. Not much of a texter, Mom's form of FOMO (oh yes, this disease has different forms!) includes her reserving the right to end a current call to take an incoming call from someone else. I'm not really sure how she determines to stay on the current call or switch it up for the new one, but I will say in her defense that she does call back everyone she hangs up on and can pick back up where the conversation ended (mind like a steel trap)!

The most interesting form of FOMO I've observed belongs to my cousin and friend Lori. Granted Lori works for the USPS not only as a Postmaster but also as a special projects manager, but this chick stays connected in her sleep! She carries a cell phone and a Blackberry Bold (USPS issued). Lori can wake up from REM sleep to fire off an answer to an email that arrives in the middle of the night after an alert set on EXCRUCIATINGLY HIGH that can wake up everyone on the premises! This past Christmas some of us (me mostly) teased her that in the throws of Oh Baby Mind Blowing (fill in the blank), she probably pauses for an incoming email and without missing a beat fires off an email to a USPS supervisor about whattime to expect the next mail trucks in from certain mail service centers. ()Whew baby, that was awesome!!!)

With apps available that connect our social sites for easier browsing of the most interesting folks to communicate with, as well as utilizing tools such as:

My friend Matt Browne posted a blog on January 4, 2012 that, like many of his posts are about believing in yourself and what you can accomplish rather than dwell on the negatives that only serve to bring you down. You can read Matt's post, 'A Little Truth To Make You Uncomfortable' here: http://www.matthewliberty.com/2012/01/a-little-truth-to-make-you-uncomfortable/

What came as a surprise to me was his revelation ..."twice in my life I have had a loaded gun in my mouth..." My surprise was not in the actual revelation, as Matt is very open and straight forward, but rather in my visceral reaction to reading the descriptive sentence. You see I have spent a good deal of my life being pissed off at my real father (not the man I refer to as my dad who was actually my step dad) because he ended his life in June 1970 with a double barrel shotgun in his. Why? How does someone get so depressed that blowing your head off is the only remedy?

Do you remember the beginning of the movie Lethal Weapon where Mel Gibson is so distraught over losing his family that he puts his revolver in his mouth? I remember my husband Tom telling me to look away for a minute. Speaking of Tom , my paternal grandmother once told us before she passed that she took a gun away from my dad several times. That was news to me. When I asked her why she didn't try to get him some help she replied, "You didn't do that back then." When I asked my mom to verify this, it was all news to her too. So it must have happened after their divorce when my dad and his parents were living together before he remarried. How thankful I've always been to have a mother who kept my adolescent moods in check as her take on my dad was that he was very moody. In the following post about depression scientists have found that one can inherit a vulnerability to the disease. To read more about depression read here:  http://www.allaboutdepression.com/cau_03.html I don't think my mom knew these scientific conclusions, but by the grace of God she was instinctive enough to watch for "moodiness" surfacing in her child.

Then there's always the conclusion some loved ones come to when a suicide occurs...the person didn't or couldn't have done it. I'll never know for sure and I'm fine with that but to my grandmother's credit, the death scene and it leading police to the conclusion that a suicide occurred is a bit hard to digest.

On Saturday mornings my father's wife went to the hair salon. Not sure where her daughter (who was about my age) was but apparently my father was alone in his new home. He went to the basement with his favorite double barrel shot gun, climbed into the shower and shot himself not once, but TWICE! The shower shielded the new home from a big mess being left behind to clean up I guess. My grandmother never accepted that her eldest son did this. 

Suicide is such a selfish act. Really. It may end the person's pain or demons but it effects their loved ones who live on. Ultimate remedy? No way. Ultimate act of pain to others? Absolutely!

And to Matt: I'm not sure what stopped you but I'm so happy you put the gun down.

We have a tendancy to remember only the things that generated a powerful emotional impact. The emotion itself isn"t important. Happiness, sadness, anger, etc. ... can all impact and help to form memories you will never forget. After time passes you may not remember the year you formed the memory but it's still there...in all of it's glory.

I tend to be a glass half full kind of person. If it takes the same amount of energy to form a memory I would just as soon form it from a positive point of view. Who wants to deal with a negative person? Not me! But I have to say, borrowing a line from Queen Elizabeth II, this year has been my "annus horribilis." My "horrible year" or actually my year of horror. Not to say goood things didn"t occur (I'll get to those), but I became hard pressed to think of anything else that could occur to make me more sad. Yeah, it was that kind of year.

I lost my love and best friend on July 25th. Not only that but I was forced to watch a horrible disease, acute leukemia (cancer) take him away. Our 26th wedding anniversary occurred 16 days after Tom died. We thought we had at least 30 more years together. Guess not. The only positive I have been able to take away from this experience is that I can go on with a broken heart. But that's it.

Still not exactly sure how I became sick in September but mid month I ended up in the hospital incredibly ill. I was kept sedated and on a vent for about 20 days. I don't remember anything from that time except my dad coming to check out my hospital room on 3 different days (he passed away in December 2006). And Tom coming to sit next to the head of my hospital bed for 11 days. Maybe those were the 11 days his oncologists said I would have with him along with the week he lived after I brought him home to die. And I had some very strange dreams. The kind where you think during the dream that this is just a dream and when you wake up it will all go away. Problem was the doctors were not letting me wake up. My mom said they kept me sedated because I pulled the trache (for the vent) out of my neck and would fight the nurses who thought I was a strong as a bull...funny, I didn't feel that way.

When I fnally woke up from that stupor, I was laying in a hospital bed with a vent hose, a feeding tube and IVs.I couldn't talk (trache), I couldn't move and several days my hands were tied down to the bed railings (but with time on my hands I learned how to Houdini my way out of the restraints) to keep me from yanking the trache out again. All I can say, I must have really hated that trache because it was huge! I saw it when it was removed for good.

I fought going to the Rehab Center for therapy. This was the first time in my life I was not in control of my own destiny. And although I trusted being in my mom's hands, she lives in Illinois and I was in Ohio. Everyone reassured me I would only be in rehab for a while and would be released just as soon as possible. I was silently freaking out in my head.

The rehab center was in the middle of Nowhere, OH! That's not the town's real name and actually it was a very pretty town but far from where my life existed. I found many the patients in my wing suffered from the same thing that happened to me. Many had been there for months, MONTHS??? No Way!!!! Tell me what I have to do to get out of here. A very cool guy, Greg Boggs, the Director of Respiratory Therapy, told me. I realize now I wasn't thinking clearly at the beginning, but I was thinking clearly enough to know I needed to lose all of the things I was hooked up to in order to work on what I needed to do to get the hell out of there. Now I'm not sure what Greg is like in "real life," but in a rehabilatory setting he is Heaven sent. At least he was for me. A combination of humor, brashness and empathy, Greg made decisions for me like losing the feeding tube, coming off the vent, etc. but made me think I made those decisions. Gotta love a guy like that. I still keep in touch with him via phone texts. Many people told me they didn't understand how I managed to get through this coming off just losing Tom and get released to my Mom after just 3 weeks, but hearing Greg say it, someone who has many patients to gauge it by, meant everything to me. 

The following people have my complete trust and support probably for life. They were there when I needed them to be and still are:

Nicole (my niece) and Bo Perry, Lori (my cousin), Deb Bussman (customer and a very good friend), Tim Ryan (a customer and very good friend), Kevin Minter (my work collegue), Tom and Ann Baker (Tom's uncle), Cindy Allbritton (my sister-in-law), Kevin Dotson (my boss), Bob Smusz (Kevin's boss and someone I have SO much respect for), My friends and collegues from xpedx Stores and the Stores Division office in Chicago, Robert Caruso in Oregon, Joe (my cousin) and Mary Elder plus Garrett Hurr and Annabel Perry who created some awesome artwork for my hospital stays that brightened up my days. Finally, Gary and Peggy Madden who have always been great friends to both Tom and I and always manage to be around when we need them.

As I close I want to tell you the memory I have made that makes me happy. My 73 year old mother who made numerous trips to Ohio, took over and managed my affairs and continues to help me recover from both the illness and the year is a blessing in my life that has given me strength and has sustained me for all of my 52 + years. She is positive, strong, tough and a great example to both me and many others as to how to conduct our lives.

I'm sure 2012 will bring more changes and create memories, but truthfully, it can take it's time.

Happy New Year! 

"Do you still have that portable VCR/TV that you use to use for training?" Tom asked me excitedly via my cell phone.

"Yes, uh wait, Tom, Paula just paged me that Mom is on the phone, hold on a minute." I replied.

"Just get the TV Cheri," he was shouting into the phone now, "An airplane just hit one of the Twin Towers in New York!"

"Paula, tell my mom I'll call her back. I need to go grab the TV out of the lunch room. Tom said something about an airplane flying into the Twin Towers in New York!" Paula hung up the store phone all nervously excited too, my mom had told her the same thing.

And with that exchange I was off to the lunch room to grab the appliance my store staff now used to watch the soaps or Judge Judy on while they ate lunch. I could have taken it back to my office, but the store staff and customers were now questioning me having heard an announcement broadcasted on the piped in music from Sunny96 as I came out of the room. Instead I walked to the nearest register and plugged it in an extra outlet and turned to Channel 10 (@10TV) in Columbus. As we started to survey the damage done to the first tower, my cell phone rang again.

"Do you see it?" Tom asked.

"Yes! Oh my gosh Tom, I just drove by the Towers with the manager from the Connecticut store when I audited her inventory!"

And then it happened. At first we couldn't believe what we were witnessing. A second plane was heading into the other tower as we watched on TV!

photo by Carmen Taylor - AP/WideWorld

"Tom, what the hell is going on dude?"

"I don't know honey, but it's definitely not good!"

It's amazing that we managed to get any work done that day. Customers coming into the store stood riveted at our first register with our staff. One lady came into the store to shop with tears in her eyes and told us she believed that her brother-in-law worked in one of the Towers and she couldn't get hold of her sister by phone.  And just when we thought we had seen the worse accident of all time, the news said another plane flew into our Pentagon in Washington DC! There was no way anyone believed this was a coincidence but who was responsible for this atrocity? At 10 am or so they broadcasted still another plane was in the air flying somewhere over the Cleveland area despite the FAA grounding all planes within the US. A little later we heard it had crashed just north of Pittsburgh. We have a store there and practically everyone from around the country was calling my friend Joe, the store manager, to make sure that all of his staff and families were accounted for.

The rest of our sales day tanked after lunch time. So off and on in between projects we stopped by the television for updates. We had heard that some of our customers were closing their print shops early and letting employees go home to try and process the horrible events of the day.

Isn't it strange how your brain registers "shocking" events that allow you to recall a day in almost minute detail? I recall a 4 year old me not understanding why President Kennedy's assasination canceled cartoons in the afternoon. And discovering there were some really deranged people who took the lives of his brother Robert and then Martin Luther King. I recall feeling sorry for President Nixon and his wife as they waved at the top of the steps before boarding Airforce One bound for California after his resignation. Or the day the Apollo 13 space craft became crippled on the way to the moon and when the Challenger disintegrated after lift off with a school teacher "astronaut" on board. As horrible as each of these events was in and of itself, nothing matched this unbelievable horror that I watched, no, witnessed, that day in New York and in DC and in Pennsylvania when airplanes became weapons of mass destruction and many unsuspecting people woke up, got dressed and left for work not knowing they would soon lose their lives within hours.  

 A Tribute From My New Twitter Friend

Within the last week or two I began following Jason Eng @ManInBlackNY on Twitter and decided to subscribe to his blog as well. The following link is a post that was waiting in my email this week. After reading the words and then watching the video I knew I wanted to recommend that you follow Jason and perhaps his blog as well. So please read the following post, watch the video and then follow Jason. I think he's pretty awesome.

http://jaywalkingny.com/2011/09/07/a-glimpse-at-the-life-of-a-loved-one-lost-on-911/

Not being fortunate to have children ourselves, my late husband Tom and I use to "adopt" the children of people we knew and claim them as our own. One of the cool benefits of such an arrangement is that you get to have all of the fun and none of life's dramas. But we would have taken on the dramas too...

One day out of nowhere Tom said to me, "Honey, who's going to get our stuff?"

"What stuff? We threw everything away last year."

"No, I'm serious. Who's going to get it? We've worked hard. I just don't want anyone to get all of the things of value that we worked so hard for. And I don't want it going to the State either!"

"Well, I don't know. We can have our wills written and you can decide specifically. But if something should happen to either one of us in the meantime, you'd get my stuff and I'd get yours. And if something happened to both of us I guess my mom would decide since she's the last parent standing."

That satisfied him for the moment. Little did we know that within two short years this scenario would be playing out for one of us. And now it will be for me to decide.

All About Garrett

This isn't another blog post about my late husband, even though he's only been gone 42 days and 13 minutes as I write this. Instead it's about a little boy in Mason, Ohio by the name of Garrett. Garrett is the boy on the far right of the photo. The picture was taken on August 20th and includes his mom and dad, Chris and Teryl, and his twin brother and sister, Grant and Kirsten. Garrett's dad and I have known each other almost back to Chris' graduation from the Ohio State University. He is employed by the same company I work for and has been promoted up through the corporate maze pretty quickly. He was my direct supervisor when his son Garrett was born. I remember this event clearly. Chris called my cell phone very excited because he had just witnessed the birth of his first child!  

Garrett's maternal grandparents live in a suburb of Columbus so once in a while when the family had weekend plans in Columbus, Chris might schedule a working day in my Arvey store. Teryl would bring Garrett to the store for the last hour or two so he could work with Daddy and of course see me, Miss Cheri.

Cheri is not the easiest name for a child learning how to speak to pronounce correctly, but Garrett managed to do it clearly very quickly. I didn't see him often, but his parents reminded him now and then that I was the lady who gave him the M & M bank he loved playing with. I think Chris told me they had used this bank (a regulation sized bubble gum machine) to train Garrett to do things such as potty training and what ever you teach growing babies to do. When the bank ran out of candy, Ms. Cheri made sure another huge bag was tucked in Dad's brief case when he went back to Mason after a store visit. Tom was involved in this behind the scenes (he's the one I usually sent to buy the M&Ms).

A couple of years later Teryl and Chris found out they were going to have twins. Garrett was excited at the prospect of being a big brother. If the child was not reciting a sports team roster and statistics (of course the Reds and Bengals in the pros and the OSU Buckeyes in college football) because his dad liked sports, then he talked about the twins in his Mom's belly. The one thing I noticed most though was how thoughtful of a child Garrett had become. I don't necessarily mean he was polite, although he was that most of the time too, and sometimes the "little boy" in him just had to be that, a little boy but never at the expense of paying attention to the folks around him.

And boy could he hold his own in a crowd of adults chatting and talking about all things adult. It was after being quiet until a little boy just couldn't handle it any more, would dream up something to entertain the adult troops. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when at a family dinner where the conversation had turned to the upcoming Presidential election, the bored little boy stood up on his chair and announced,"I am Barack Obama and I approved this message."

The Twins Arrive

When the twins were born Tom and I couldn't wait to see them! Tom made some time before work and came down to the store when Teryl brought them. Kirsten looked a lot like her big brother Garrett, but Grant had these huge blue eyes and he just stared at you if you caught his attention. This fascinated Tom to no end, so Teryl, ever the gracious mother despite six adults ogling her new babies, encouraged him to go ahead and pick Grant up.  I still have a photo on a backup card but can't put my hands on it right now to share with you, but trust me, it was quite a sight! There was blue-eyed Tom and blue/wide-eyed Grant staring at each other nose to nose and then Grant smiled. It was the most comical thing! After that, as much as I laid claim to Garrett, the twins belonged to Tom.

Tom Has Leukemia

As I've described in the first blog I wrote, Tom and I were thrown for a loop in September 2010. After what we thought was most likely a case of anemia, oncologists discovered Tom had Acute Leukemia. (http://bit.ly/fKnSrH). At first we told people on a need to know basis as we ourselves were trying to catch up to speed about what was happening to Tom and to us. Of course Chris was one of the first people I called. He reacted as if one of his own family members was sick and I suppose in a way, Tom and I were "family" to Chris and his family. I'm not sure how long it took for them to tell Garrett what was going on but I heard from Chris fairly regularly.

"How's it going? What are the doctors saying? What can Teryl and I do?" he would fire the questions at me all at once. In any other situation I would have teased him to dial down his usual lightning speed energy level, but my brain was firing on all cylinders too and really didn't notice. And so I would fill him in with the latest information and he once told me about someone he knew that had also been diagnosed with the same cancer but made it through treatment and was doing fine now a year later. "The man is a lot older than Tom is. He's going to beat this. Teryl and I are praying for him and Garrett is praying for him too."

 Garrett Prays For Mr. Tom

"It just broke my heart Cheri," Chris began to tell me.

"I usually stay in the room with Garrett until he says his prayers at night and tonight when I thought he was finishing up he started again and added, "Please bless Mr. Tom so that he won't be sick anymore. So I figured he was going to say it just that night and like little kids do forget about it the next night. But he didn't! Again without any prompting from me at the end of his prayer he added on to please bless Mr. Tom so he will get better. He's done every night now for about two weeks!"

"Wow! Isn't that something!" I replied. What an old soul that child has Chris. I swear. I've told you that haven't I? What a thoughtful little boy. I can't wait to tell Tom. That will make him feel good."

And it did. And Garrett kept adding this request to his prayers every single night until Tom passed away. And Tom once said to me that he could actually feel the little boy's gift of love to him.

Tom passes away

Tom passed away on July 25th and Chris worried that he did not know how he was going to help Garrett to understand.

"Why did Mr. Tom have to die Dad?"

"God needed Mr. Tom to go and help Him in Heaven."

"But I don't understand. Why did it have to be Mr. Tom?"

"I don't know Son, but there's a reason for everything and Mr. Tom was needed somewhere else. We have memories of him and we'll miss him but it was time for him to go back to live with God."

Still really not understanding, Garrett decided to accept the explanation because he trusts his Dad.

Summer is winding down

Before it was time for school to begin again, Teryl and some other mothers decided to take their children to the local pool to swim. Either in the water with them or perched right at the water's edge, she kept an eagle eye out for her little ones at play with the other children. Kirsten walked up to her mom and told her she needed to go to the bathroom. Teryl let the other mothers know what she was doing and asked them to keep an eye on her two sons for a few minutes. In the time it took her to make the trip and back, her youngest son Grant had somehow slipped under the water and was floating unconsciously when a woman, who happened to be a nurse, noticed him and quickly pulled him out. The little boy had stopped breathing on his own so the nurse began CPR to try and revive him.  Paramedics were quickly called and dispatched taking Grant to the local hospital which promptly Life Flighted him to Childrens' Hospital in Cincinnati. In all of this turmoil Teryl managed to phone Chris, who was working out of town, to let him know what was happening and to tell him to please fly home as soon as he could get a flight. Chris told me later that as he sat on the airplane he prayed to God to please let the doctors save his little boy and then said he added, because he was so crazed with fear, "Tom, they're your twins too so please look out for Grant until the doctors can help him." Luckily Grant survived unscathed and is now happily at home with his family. Did Tom tend to Grant while he was unconscious as a guardian angel would do? We like to think so. We definitely know Tom would have insisted upon it if he could.

And what about Garrett?

Well he started school as few days ago and the other evening when his dad sat down near him to watch the Nightly News. Garrett was sad because he had heard a news story about a little boy dying. He told his Dad about the story for a minute and as he again tried to make some sense of death, he asked Chris again why do people have to die? Chris told him again about people dying because it was their time to go be with God and that all things happened for a reason even if we couldn't see what the reason was. They talked about Tom and about Grant's accident and how happy they all were because Grant was okay and with them.

"You know what Dad? I'm glad Grant is okay too because if he had died I would have been very sad."

Generation Z's legacy

When I am as old as my mother the Garretts of our world will be in charge. And unlike mine, their childhood will pass and  conclude in record time. Technology is making sure they are bombarded with all sorts of information instantaneously. Their parents will have to explain a host of things much sooner than I had to learn them. So will these children still daydream? Will they find creativity inside a box of crayons along with glue and glitter? Will they help plant seeds into the earth on their family farm? Will they be the generation that helps usher in an era of peace and tranquility in the world? If I had to guess, I'd bet my money on them. Well at least on one little boy in Mason, Ohio.

Sorry, no secrets here. Instead this post was inspired by one of the many blogs I read each day. I do want to thank SimplyZesty.com for posting this piece from Quinton  O’Reilly: PostSecret App Allows You To Share Your Secrets Anonymously (http://bit.ly/oqNiuV) which very simply describes a new app for iPhone which was released Sunday, Sept 4^th  at a cost of $1.99.

As you can see in this direct exerpt from Quentin's review:

 ‘It allows you to see posted secrets, anonymously post photo secrets of your own which can be modified with photo filters and the option to feed it onto Facebook, Twitter or onto an e-mail address if the users wishes. You can add the location of your secret if you want to although it doesn’t require you to post the exact location, but a nearby one.’ (If you want to see replies to your secret posts you can get a pin number to do that.)

Click on the link above and watch the YouTube video he embedded showing some folks in action using this new app. The majority of them appear to be young adults but they do show at least one man getting a tatoo on his hand (after seeing it on the lower back of a woman who was walking at the beginning of the video) who refers to his wife and kids apparently finding out where the idea for his new tattoo came from as his posted secret.

Logging on to website: http://www.postsecrets.com  and click on the photo you are redirected to the Apple store site where information, testimonials and disclaimers are available:

Over a half-million soulful, sexual, and silly secrets have been mailed to PostSecret. Now you can take the story mobile:

✔ Discover the shocking and hilarious secrets from your school or city
✔ Completely anonymous - no personal information is EVER obtained
✔ Share your hopeful and heartbreaking secrets anonymously with the world
✔ Respond to secrets by sharing an anonymous secret of your own
✔ Reach out and connect with like-minded people
✔ Read the Sunday Secrets on your mobile device
✔ Find nearby helplines in times of need

Okay, so let me get this straight. The video’s main sell is to kids and they actually tell the kids the kinds of things they can post (by listing them in the disclaimer…duh!) and in addition, give them ideas about where they can feed their secret photos, messages or whatever on to someone’s Twitter or Facebook account or email it to whomever they choose??? Wow! Imagine what that cheerleader’s mom in Texas a few years back could have done with this app as she was trying to eliminate her daughter’s competition! Or how about the people we read about or see on news broadcasts who had to leave school because they were being bullied by their peers?

Here’s more information from the web site, this one on privacy:

 ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
MORE ABOUT PRIVACY
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

✔ Your identity will always be completely anonymous
✔ This app, and other users, will never know your name, email address or ANY other personal information
✔ We never store your exact location, if you submit a secret you can choose a general location for it such as a city or school
✔ You aren't required to signup
✔ You can choose to never store your own secrets that you submit. If you do decide to store them to monitor replies, you must set a secure pin code to prevent anyone from ever seeing them.

 And this posted over to the far left of the page:

You must be at least 17 years old to download this app.

• Frequent/Intense Realistic Violence
• Frequent/Intense Sexual Content or Nudity
• Frequent/Intense Profanity or Crude Humor
• Frequent/Intense Alcohol, Tobacco, or Drug Use or References
• Frequent/Intense Horror/Fear Themes
• Frequent/Intense Mature/Suggestive Themes
• Frequent/Intense Cartoon or Fantasy Violence               

This app is just WRONG on so many levels folks! Now I know that maybe you’re thinking, well Cheri, just don’t buy and download the app, right?  No worries there I wouldn’t, but that doesn’t mean a half a million kids aren’t going to. Maybe most of the secrets will even be kind of simple or juvenile and even cute. I could certainly see a disarming marketing promotion from that aspect couldn’t you?  But did you watch the video? If it was your daughter or kid sister writing the message in lipstick on her school’s bathroom mirror ‘Is it rape if he tells me he loves me?’  would PostSecrets be the place you’d want her to turn to to ask the question?

Really?!?  Well then how convenient it is that Frank Warren and his partners have created an app for that!

I love design, art, photography, a well written story, dance, acting, music or most anything that involves creativity. I’m creative in some things but not in the arts and they fascinate me. I was a child of the excessive late 70’s and 80’s when garish was the in thing. Big hair, big shoulder pads, big gas hungry automobiles! I wanted it all…total excess!

I married a fairly simple living kind of guy and yet I convinced Tom to join me on my “have to have it all journey.” And you know what we found out when he and I were moving from our rented home of 16 years to a purchased condo nearer the city? We had TOO MUCH STUFF! I thought I had been pretty good about eliminating things I stopped using, but my fairly simple turned just as excessive husband was a closet pack rat! Looking around just one of the room's, I decided then and there to rent a construction dumpster and make most of this stuff disappear!

“You’ve rented a what?” Tom asked incredulously when I told him the dumpster was being delivered the next day.

“Yes honey. We're not taking all of this stuff with us into the condo. We don’t even know what we own anymore! Look at this place! Every inch of it is crammed with STUFF!” I replied.

“Okay maybe YOU don’t. This place is just crammed with YOUR books. You have more books than the local library!” he said as he surveyed the space.

“Well, then I will box up the books I have and take them to Half Price Books to sell! And wait, you’ll see. It won’t make a dent in this place!”

I brought home some empty paper boxes with lids (people and I love them because they are great for storage and moving) to box up my stacks.  With my fascination for what makes people tick, I mostly read biographies and autobiographies. Literally any person's story can keep my attention for hours! I'm especially interested in how the events of one's life effects their contribution to the world, especially artists. It was hard to part with my favorites (most of them), but agonizingly I boxed them up. By the time I finished I had stacked 42 paper boxes full of books. Tom, shaking his head, helped me load them into the back of his pickup truck, of course dispersing a cuss word here and there for the entire time (not helpful), I silently groaned when I thought about the amount of our money I had spent on them. Geez.

As we then stepped back inside our rental again to make sure we had grabbed everything, I said to Tom, "See honey, it doesn't look any different."

“It doesn’t look any different,” he said kind of crestfallen.

But this wasn't the time to say I-told-you-so.

Long story short, I rented a 22 yard construction dumpster which we proceeded to fill with delightful abandon minus the furniture pieces I donated to the Salvation Army. The only things that actually moved with us to the condo filled the back of Tom’s Dodge Dakota Sport pickup about three or four times. In other words, for two people who had been married for 20 years, not much! And I had a great time spending more of our cash for new furniture!

I tell you all of this because at 52 years of age I am now bowled over by all things simple, clean and uncluttered. Whether it’s in my home, or with my key family and friend relationships…just in my life…period. Keep it simple stupid never applied more to someone than me!  But the arts and artists in general continue to fascinate me and I want to know their background stories. But now my laptop and the internet provide a global outlet for me to seek those stories plus all things simple and serene. And the Social Media sites I subscribe to have introduced me to several folks who have impressed me with their own take on simplicity. Let me introduce five of them that I have discovered along my journey:

1.) @hi_think and @jml_bryant, it’s CEO. http://www.thinkbrandstudio.com/Beliefs.aspx This is the web site of Think Brand Studio's "beliefs" page. I take you here because the owner, Justin L. Bryant sums up for the potential clients visiting his website:  'We believe that well-orchestrated simplicity yields clarity.' The clean, fresh design of his site, coupled with the company's mission statement represent to each potential client that 'positive brand development will occur when strategy, design and marketing overlap.' No fuss, no glitz...just clean lines and brand message in a powerful presentation.

Justin recently started the Think Brand blog that not only discusses items that pertain to his business expertise but also evokes in the mind's eye the look of simplicity. The power is in the message and the message IS clearly seen. Check out his blog here:  http://hi-think.blogspot.com/   

2.) @MatthewLiberty and his wife @AnnieBrowne are a couple who have been going through a similar life cleansing process that Tom and I did long ago. Matt talks about it pretty regularly on his From My Mind blog. Matt and Annie own several small businesses and run them simultaneously (so much for that desired simplicity! Lol) Now Annie (and sometimes Matt) shares one of their new memorable activities, visiting and making videos of visits to California vineyards and wine venues on her blog. Here's what I love about this couple:

• they remind me of so many memories of my marriage to Tom
• they are best friends, business partners and do that while being totally in love and firmly committed to their marriage (not always easy to combine)
• they are both go getters who want to find ways to slow down the stress levels to enjoy more of life and the people they encounter while still earning a living
• they met on a dating website...so see some of those couples ARE compatibly matched folks..... :-) 

Check out them both out: http://www.MatthewLiberty.com/ and http://www.HootnAnnieBlog.com/

3.) @alliepal Allison Lehman is a local Columbus, Ohio designer originally from my hometown of Chicago. Allie is married to Adam Lehman (@AdaminColumbus) and they appear (to me) to be a very happy couple. I first met her when we worked on the 2011 Social Media Calendar Girls project (by the by, she was one of the girls). Allison describes her sense of style as classic. And her Twitter bio reads: Be timeless, not trendy. She's a designer, an artist, a photographer, a blogger and sells custom designed cards and invitations locally and on the Etsy site.  Simplicity is classic.  And classic is Allison.

Check out Allison's eclectic collection of blog posts at : http://blog.allisonlehman.com

4.) Chris Walker @walker_photo. Chris' tag line: Your Portrait. On Location. And what portraits they are! Chris has created portraits of more than just a few of Columbus' Social Media and Biz owner elite. You probably see his photos being used by Influencers on Twitter for instance every day without realizing it. Chris has the most incredible way of turning down the background noise and dialing up his subject. His friendly personality along with a great skill at lighting and editing help him capture the true personality of each person. Someday soon I intend to be a customer of this young man. But until that happens (lol), you can check out his photographs at: http://www.cwalkerphotography.com

5.) Robert Caruso, @fondalo on Twitter, and dad of two children that he adores and delights spending time with, decided to, after owning and directing busy social media operations that tied up multiple staff members for the largest portion their working day just searching for and posting fresh and newsworthy content, create the software system @Bundlepost. His staff discovered that the system worked so well they had more time to engage with contacts and connections via Social Media which of course translated into more and more business success. Robert decided if the program could help the businesses he operated so successfully, it would most likely help other business owners and social media managers to do the same thing. With that thought in mind he decided to just put his focus on developing the software farther and subsequently market the sales of the service to others. It was a great choice, and with his permission I borrow the website's description of this new system (now in 2.0 with improvements added0 that can add simplicity to anyone's social management plan. 

Check this out at http://www.bundlepost.com 

Are you in the business of selling simplicity? Please share your website with me below.